


My Blood Red Partner in Crime

by Fishpaste



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Abortion, Child Loss, Death, Death of Women, F/F, Jack the Ripper - Freeform, Minor Injuries, Serious Injuries, Victorian views of transgernderism and abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-01-11 02:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18420804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishpaste/pseuds/Fishpaste
Summary: What was going through Madame Red's mind during that long month after the fire at Phantomhive Manor? How did she meet Grell Sutcliff and how did they come to their arrangement?





	1. Chapter 1

Red, red, red... Red over her hands, splashed against the wall, leaking onto the pavement and drying in irregular patterns over her coat and skin. Somehow she hadn’t expected there to be this much blood. An stared down at the broken corpse of what had been, only moments before, a living breathing human with her own wants and dreams and life, and waited to feel horror or sadness or guilt or any emotion at all really, to tell her that her actions had been a sin and an abomination and she was damned to Hell for all eternity for the taking of an innocent life. Except it really wasn’t an innocent life was it? A woman who could so easily cast aside the chance for a child, who could murder all of those potential lives, well, An had been doing a good thing really. Anyway, what was the life of one more prostitute?

Her hand was aching from the use of the knife. Surgery and stabbing were very different uses, and she hadn’t realised just how much force it was going to take to actually dispatch the woman. Leaning back and looking over the scene, she was again reminded of exactly how much of a mess she’d made; it looked like a charnel house in this dark little alley way.

“My, My! That was quite a little show!”

Startled she looked up towards the sound of the voice, had someone been there watching? Seen what she’d done? Were the police on their way? Even now, knowing that she probably deserved it, she really didn’t want to go to gaol, the prostitute had deserved it surely, no one would blame her...

There was no one at the entrance of the short alley and An’s slightly disbelieving gaze tracked upwards, to a church tower...and a person, standing easily on a roof they could never have reached, holding onto a lightning rod with the moonlight glinting off their glasses. Her mouth dropped open, who was this? Some sort of demon coming to take her away to her rightful judgement? 

“I must say, I am very impressed.” He called down while she stared at him, unable to look away. Moving with more confidence than could be fathomed the man, with his mane of fiery red hair leapt easily off the church roof, landing in a neat crouch a few feet away from her. That settled it then, whatever this man was, he certainly wasn’t human. He straightened up, sauntering over to her and the cooling body at her feet with the utmost grace and confidence. “I haven’t seen a display with this much burning passion and hate behind it in a long time; do you really mean to say this was your first?” He was right next to her now, allowing her to see the odd two toned eyes, the pointed teeth and the spine chilling air of utter indifference to the blood beginning to soak into his heeled shoes.

“Who...” She began; the knife was still in her grasp, she could defend herself if he tried to turn her in, she wasn’t helpless. 

“Who am I? Why, simply a fan of your work!” He looked around at the red staining everything around them, the mutilated body, the sharp knife she still clutched like a lifeline. “It’s so rare for me to meet someone who can inspire me like this!”

“Are you a demon?”

“A demon? No, I’m far worse than that, don’t worry!” And the smile he gave her was full of sharp pointed teeth like a shark as he pulled, seemingly from nowhere, a long bladed instrument that roared into life, spinning and spitting. An gasped and flinched back, skidding away from the body as he stood over it, raising the strange weapon up high and bringing it crashing down. She closed her eyes, expecting another hot spray of blood to join the splatters already patterning her face but the corpse appeared unaffected by the weapon scything through it. It was obviously passing through the flesh, and the red demon was staring intently as though blood that only he could see was spurting out, but no extra cuts were appearing, no fresh blood and no wounds. Maybe she had gone mad after all, it would hardly been unexpected after everything that had happened.

“There. All done.” He said, pulling the weapon back and replacing it with a book. He made a small mark in it, reciting the woman’s name, date of birth and her date of death. “Died due to blood loss from repeated stab wounds,” his eyes met hers again and he smirked. “No other notes of interest.”

“What are you?” She asked again. Everything felt unreal, impossible. This night couldn’t have happened. An Burnett was a doctor, she saved lives, she had a loving husband, a sister she adored, a man she loved more deeply than any other, nephews who cared about her...she wasn’t alone in the world, a murderess who would never have children or a family of her own ever again. It couldn’t be true, everything was wrong, this wasn’t supposed to happen! The demon man smirked at her, putting away his book into some hidden pocket.

“I’m a Grim Reaper, here to oversee the deaths of those who die in my territory. And I do hope we’ll be meeting again soon, my blood red Madame!” Then he turned and walked away, fading into the shadows until she blinked and he was gone, leaving her alone, cold and stained and kneeling beside the body of the woman she’d killed. An waited to feel scared or guilty or anything, but the feeling that rose up within her was none of those, it was an intense, primal satisfaction. She had fought and won and killed, she had impressed the blood red Reaper! She was invincible! She had a reason to go on now; she would cleanse London of the filthy pointless wastes of humanity who so easily threw away the greatest gift they could have been offered. And she would find the demon Reaper again, she would see him again, she swore it by the moon.

 

***

 

She planned more for the second death. The first time it had been an unstoppable rage that had consumed her. After the fire that had taken away everything that she had left, she’d returned to London and gone straight back to work. The other doctors had been wary, she’d been asked several times if this was too soon, and she’d managed to blithely reassure them it was fine, that she just wanted to work, wanted to do something. Up until that damned woman had walked in, she’d been coping, she’d been numb and dead inside, but she’d been able to go through the motions, been able to perform her surgeries and advise her clients and everything else she needed to do but that woman, callously throwing the stark fact into An’s face that she could never have the baby she so desperately wanted, so arrogant and willing to destroy the very thing her body was designed for...the rage had taken over and An could no more have prevented what happened next, she believed, than she could resurrect her dead family and loved ones.

The second one though, An was more careful. She had the woman’s address of course, and she carefully watched over the area until she was certain nobody was watching before stepping up and knocking on the door, her doctor’s bag like an automatic invitation. She was taken inside and, when the woman turned her back to put the kettle on, An drew out the long knife from her bag and plunged it towards her unprotected back. Any screams the woman might have made were quickly cut off as the blood began flying and An laughed, feeling the hot sting across her face, the wet warmth spreading across her hands, how the frantically fighting body under her moved slower and slower until it finally stilled, glassy eyes staring up at the ceiling looking for a forgiveness that she simply didn’t deserve after what she’d done. An didn’t bother to wait to feel bad this time, she just enjoyed the warm glow of triumph throughout as she sat back on her heels and gazed around at crimson painted room.

“I really didn’t think you’d be able to top last time, but it seems you are determined to exceed my expectations darling!” The voice called again and An turned around, he was here! Leaning comfortably against the door and applauding her. She flushed slightly, the thrill of her night making her giddy.

“I...see you’re here again.” She managed to say, her voice wavering only a little.

“Mmm, well I could hardly miss a performance like this now could I? Besides, you interest me An Burnett. What could possibly cause a woman like you to get involved in such a hot blooded murder of a woman like this?” He bent over the body, not looking overly impressed with the cheap jewellery and gaudy fabrics she was wearing, instead his eyes lingering on the marks left by her knife and the careless spray of blood coating everywhere.

“She deserved it.” An said simply, standing up and moving to sit on the small settee. The Reaper seemed in no hurry to vanish and she was quite eager to continue their discussion. The red headed man was fascinating to her, proof of the supernatural, of a life beyond death! His power and mysteriousness attracted her in exactly the same way that Vincent’s own mysterious confidence and hidden abilities had caught hold of her mind and heart as a young girl.

“Did she? How so?”

“She had a chance...a choice...” An’s hand drifted downwards to press against her own stomach, where her unnamed baby had once lain just below her beating heart. “A woman who would sacrifice the chance to have children, who would give up that miraculous chance out of greed and profit and mean stupidity...surely that deserves a comeuppance.” She spat, looking over at the Reaper. 

A strange expression crossed his face, understanding coupled with a grief so deep and poignant it took her breath away. He looked her dead in the eyes and it was as though he could see into her soul, see the wounds that lay within her own body and would bleed forever, the scars on her heart and the endless wailing agony of her soul. An shuddered slightly, examining him, and realising that he wasn’t the pure flawless being she’d originally though. That pale skin, she could see the make-up he was wearing, red painted nails, even lipstick, combining to make him seem almost feminine. How strange...but then he was a Grim Reaper, there was so much she didn’t understand, and so much she wanted to know of him...

“I see...” He glanced down at the body, almost dismissively pulling out that roaring weapon and plunging it into the body. Again it caused no further wound to the corpse, and again he stared at it, as though the secret to life was visible to him and him alone.

“Do you have a name?” She asked after a moment. “Or should I just call you the Grim Reaper?”

“There are others you know, I’m not the only Reaper around.” The melancholy wistfulness in his expression was gone, wiped out as though it had never been there and replaced with the arrogant smirk she’d half come to expect from him. “You can call me Grell Sutcliff if you like, if we meet again that is. I do hope we do, your work is gorgeous!” He gestured around the room. “Passion, blood, and ruby red artistic beauty! What more could anyone hope for!” He marked the small book he carried and grinned at her again, before literally fading away into invisibility in front of her eyes. Staring where he’d been, An decided that nothing he did would surprise her now, and that she wanted to see him again desperately.

“Grell Sutcliff...”

 

***

 

He didn’t come for the third body, and she missed him. She sat next to the cooling corpse and waited, but there was so smugly amused voice calling out to her, no roar of the strange weapon and no sign of that flaming red long hair. He could turn invisible, so maybe he didn’t want to talk, or perhaps there was another Reaper around. An didn’t know, but she waited as long as she dared before the first sign of dawn’s light sent her retreating back home before the body could be discovered.

The newspapers had noticed a spate of stabbings in the east end, she’d have to change up locations...if she got caught then her work would never be completed, she would never be able to finish punishing those who defiled themselves in such a hideous way, and she would never see Grell again either. She wasn’t sure which of these was more important to her.

 

***

 

The forth body put up more of a fight than she was expecting, the woman unexpectedly strong as she twisted and fought against An. Without the element of surprise An was at a disadvantage, and it was only really luck that allowed her to drive her knife into a vulnerable point and silence the woman’s shouting at last. Panting harshly, she straightened up from the still twitching body and looked around in alarm, the shrill call of a police whistle could be heard in the distance, and she could make out the sound of running feet as well. This was it then, her time had come, she would be found, literally standing over the body with the murder weapon in her hand. Half of her wanted to cry and run away, curl up and claim it hadn’t been her, it wasn’t her fault. Half of her wanted to laugh, let them know just how little she cared for what happened to her now, it wasn’t as though she had anything left to live for anymore, Vincent, Rachel, the twins...all gone...her baby, her husband, forever beyond her reach... She held the knife defiantly in front of her and prepared herself as the footsteps stormed ever closer.

A hand clamped across her mouth and An jerked backwards in shock, was it the corpse of the woman rising up to exact revenge! No one had been in the alley, she’d checked! She tried to bite at the leather glove, swinging he knife around even as another arm snaked across her waist and lifted her off the ground. Whoever was pressed up against her hissed in displeasure as her knife bit into his arm, but he kept moving, crouching briefly and then jumping into the sky. An squeaked as the air rushed past her, fast and stingingly cold as they rose up high above the roofs and terraces below. Whoever had a grip of her landed lightly on the edge of one of the roofs, stepping back away from the brink and pulling her with them, just as the alarmed shouts of the policemen indicated they’d found the still warm body. She twisted in his grasp, was it him?

Bright red hair, glasses that exposed strange green eyes and a smile full of sharp teeth answered her look and she relaxed into the arms of death personified. The policemen were fanning out, searching for the killer who must be nearby, but they would hardly think to check a rooftop so high from where it had all happened. Grell apparently disagreed however, if the frown on his face was any indication. He paused, then lifted her again, this time properly, one arm looping under her legs, the other around her back as she clung to his steady frame. Her heart rate shot through the roof, she didn’t think any man had ever carried her like this, certainly not since she was a small child! It felt...safe and protected and wonderful as he took off at a dead run, far faster than any human should be able to move, easily leaping across rooftops and streets and carrying her as if she weighed no more than a stray kitten. The freezing winter air blew past her skin, and the blood was drying on her hands and face, but the wild excitement rose up within her again, and with Grell too, judging by the smirk they flashed her before they did a jump that made her squeal, leaping effortlessly across a wide main road, spring boarding off a carriage and away into the night.

She was laughing by the time they arrived at her house, too overwhelmed to even ask how he knew where she lived, he was a Grim Reaper, he could do anything it seemed, knowing where she lived was child’s play to him surely. He set her down on her doorstep and smiled at her.

“Well my lady, I think you cut that one a little too close for your own good. And you didn’t even get a chance to play properly!”

“Play? Oh, of course, you like the blood don’t you?” She said, feeling light headed and silly.

“How could I not? It’s so beautiful, the greatest artistic mastery of all, after all, what can a painting possibly compare to the sheer life force of a human being. It simply can’t compete.” He twirled around a strand of hair between his fingers, and she caught herself wondering why he wore it so long, far longer than any other man she knew would have dared; longer than most women wore theirs actually.

“I suppose I owe you a thank you.”

“Mmm. I shouldn’t have interfered, but I’m having far too much fun to let this story end so soon. If you’d been captured tonight, then there would be no more corpses, no more chances to meet my Madame Red!”

She laughed again, he knew her name, her address and her biggest secret, and while that should terrify her, it just made everything more exciting, An had never been one to shy away from a risky proposition after all! Her eyes glanced over his sleeve, noticing the tear in the material and the blood seeping out.

“You’re hurt...oh!” Had that been her, with the knife? She hadn’t meant to, hadn’t even realised he was capable of being hurt; she was capable of hurting him.... He raised his arm, glancing at the injury.

“A mere scratch I think. It would take far more than this little thing to put me out of business!” An ignored his grin this time, doctor’s instincts kicking in.

“Well it should be cleaned and dressed regardless, come on in; I should have some supplies in my study.” She turned and almost ran indoors, not even pausing to think about the propriety of asking a stranger into her home; in the early hours of the morning no less! He might not even come anyway, she thought as she fetched some water and bandages, but when she returned he was standing in her drawing room, looking curiously at the photographs mounted on the wall. He looked odd inside her home, less wild and demonic and smaller, much more approachable, even the shark like grin seemed more toned down now. She gestured for him to sit down and he obeyed her willingly, letting her peel back his sleeve to reveal the gash across his forearm. It was deeper than she’d thought, but he barely flinched as she began clearing away the excess blood, wondering if she should use stitches on it.

“I didn’t realise one like you could even get hurt.” She said as she worked, more to break the silence than anything else. This whole situation was surreal, dreamlike.

“Oh, we’re rather like you humans in most ways, we work our job, spend our free time doing what we like, fall in love and yes, can get injured and even die.” He said carelessly, watching his own blood trickle over his forearm.

“Are you an angel or something then?”

“No, Grim Reapers are entirely separate, not a demon or an angel or a fae or anything else like that.”

“And you judge the souls of the dead?”

“My, my, you are full of questions today aren’t you? No, I don’t judge the souls; I simply send them on their way to judgement.” He answered easily. “And before you ask, no, I’m not a god either.”

“Sorry...I’m just curious.”

“Oh I don’t mind,” He waved one hand in an airy gesture, something very feminine about it. “If I did I’d hardly be here rescuing you from the good old police officers and letting you patch up my arm now would I?”

“I don’t know. Why are you here Grell Sutcliff?”

“Hmmm,” He studied her with that intense green eyes stare and she blushed under his gaze. “Perhaps because you interest me, perhaps because I sympathise with your cause.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes...” He looked away then, his tine becoming almost sad, far from his usual arrogant voice. “I understand how it can feel to want to bear a child, to know that that’s what you were made for, to want it more than anything else...and yet have it denied you. It certainly strikes me as unfair that some women get the opportunity and just throw it away.”  
An was confused now, her hands had stilled in their washing of his wrist as she frowned at him. He was very definitely a male, from the trousers to the flat chest and the visible Adam’s apple...but at the same time there was the make-up, the carefully painted nails, the heels on his shoes. And more than that, there were the mannerisms, ones An was used to seeing on the high society women at parties; the gestures, the way of holding themselves, the laugh...even the tones of voice he used...

“I’m sorry...it’s rude...but, well. You aren’t exactly human are you? So how could you bear a child?” It wasn’t quite what she meant to ask, but she couldn’t find the right words for that question. He grinned at her.

“I was born human, long long ago. And then when I died, I found myself working as a Reaper.”

“So...you couldn’t have children as a human?”

He looked at her, the constant smile dropping off his face, he was as serious as she’d ever seen him and she straightened up slightly, almost belatedly going back to wrapping his arm in the bandage.

“I know it’s rather blasphemous to say, but God can make mistakes, including placing somebody in the wrong body. I know who I am; it’s the rest of the world that doesn’t understand.”

“You are a woman then?” She asked bluntly. It should have been laughable, this rather handsome man telling her so seriously that he was secretly a woman trapped in the wrong body but at the same time, it fitted with everything she’d noticed about him. Her. Them.

“I am.” He sounded pleased with her and she smiled back at him. Her. God could make mistakes easily, or she wouldn’t be left in this situation, perhaps she and Grell could work together to help readdress some of the problems He’d caused.

“”Then I am very pleased to meet you Miss Grell Sutcliff.” An said sincerely. “I hope that we’ll have plenty of opportunity to get to know one another.”

“Well if you keep up your crusade,” Grell smiled, standing up and looking down at her neatly bandaged arm with a pleased expression. “Then I’m certain we’ll be meeting again very soon. Goodnight my dear.”

“Goodnight Grell Sutcliff...” An whispered as she vanished in front of her once again, to wherever she went when she wasn’t with An. The doctor began mechanically putting away the supplies she’d used and heading up to her room to remove all evidence of her crimes before she could go to bed herself. For the first time since the fire, passing the door of what had been intended to be the nursery didn’t make her heart clench painfully and fill her mind with rage, it just made her more determined. She would rid the world of those who didn’t deserve it, and she would prove her worth to her blood red Grim Reaper.


	2. Chapter 2

All of a sudden An’s life had meaning again, colour, life, _hope!_ Ciel had returned. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know what had happened and she almost didn’t care. Through some miracle, her family was not gone, there was one last remaining loved one she could hold on to; she wasn’t alone any longer! He was thin, weak and had clearly been treated badly, but An would take care of him, along with the strange new butler he had brought. Finishing her shift at the hospital had never felt more arduous, Ciel had informed her he would be going straight back to his destroyed manor house and An understood, he wanted to pay respects to his family, the grief must be even more poignant and terrible for him, he hadn’t had a chance to process it at all…and she hadn’t dared ask what had happened to his twin, he’d already been through so much, the last thing he needed was in interrogation.

Home at last An found herself humming as she sat down in her study to work through her paperwork. The drawer with her knife in it, and the list of disgraced women was nearly forgotten. Ciel might not be back tonight, it was a fairly long drive and he might decide to stay at the inn nearby, but with that butler there to protect him she wasn’t _too_ concerned, after all, it seemed that this Sebastian was the one to save him in the first place, so he could be trusted to watch over him for one more night but then of course, Ciel would have to come back, the house was gone. An would look after him as a matter of course, he would never be her son, but he could be her family, and they could be together, she could support and care for him, her house would no longer be empty and full of ghosts but would have light and laughter and love inside of it. She sighed happily, Frances might want to raise Ciel she supposed, but she was certain that Ciel would prefer to stay with her, she had always been his favourite after all, and anyway; it would hardly be appropriate for Lizzie and Ciel to be growing up as siblings all things considered!

Paperwork was simply not occupying her mind tonight and An found herself standing up and beginning to wander through her house, which room would Ciel want to have? Not the nursery…she couldn’t bear to give that one up just yet, but there were a number of bedrooms he could have, she would have to see about getting him into a school, or maybe simply hiring some tutors for now. He’d probably need training in etiquette as well…she couldn’t forget he would one day need to take over the Earldom…

Walking room by room through her house a sudden cold breeze from the library caught her attention. It was late, none of the windows should be open, and none of her servants would have dreamed of leaving something as obvious as that. One look into the room gave her the answer. Grell Sutcliff was sprawled across the windowsill, staring out into the evening sky, her bladed saw propped nonchalantly up against the wall. An felt as though her blood had turned to ice, what was the Reaper doing here? She’d never known her come by the house before, aside from that one occasion when she’d brought An home, why was she here now, and why did she look so hurt?

“Grell?”

“Madame Red!” The smile was back in place, but there was something sharp about it, some cold distance that An didn’t recognise. “I hear that your life has just changed again! I suppose I’m to offer congratulations.”

“How, how did you know about Ciel?”

“Is that his name? I really couldn’t care less about that. But it seems,” She held up a book, the one she always marked the deaths off in. “That your plans for the future have changed. No more blood red Madame of the night?”

An gaped at her. It probably wasn’t an attractive look, but it was an honest one. She hadn’t even thought about it, if she had Ciel, if she had her family then she had no need to kill those who threw away their chance did she? She had a new purpose in life now, and one that was coloured by life and love rather than death and despair. She would step away from her murderous ways, become the parental figure that Ciel needed her to be!

“That’s right, I have new responsibilities now. I cannot afford to get caught acting as a killer.”

“If I recall correctly you would have been caught before had I not saved you.”

“And I do thank you for that. But Ciel is more important than my crusade of justice, I would do _anything_ for him. Including stopping my crusade.”

“I see.” The disdain and bitterness in Grell’s voice would have been visible to the dullest creature on earth and An’s heart dropped. She hadn’t realised that by choosing Ciel over her night time activities she would be losing Grell in the process. Grell had been there for her when she had needed her most, had supported her when no one else would have, had captured her heart and imagination with ease, was she really ready to give that all up? For a small ten year old boy who had his mother’s eyes and had been through some sort of trauma? The answer was clear, even though it hurt to say.

“I’m sorry Grell. Ciel needs me now, and I am determined to do right by him.”

Grell pushed herself to her feet, lifting the bladed weapon and swinging it up onto her shoulder and for a moment An had the absurd idea that Grell would dispatch of her, would plunge that weapon into her chest as though she mattered less than the prostitutes that had died previously. But of course Grell did no such thing, instead she simply turned and put one foot onto the window sill, preparing to jump and vanish off wherever she went when she wasn’t with An.

“You disappoint me.” The Reaper said, all laughing affection and exhilaration gone from her voice. “I’d expected better. Goodbye An. I won’t be seeing you.”

“Wait, Grell-“ But she was gone, fading to invisibility even as she jumped away into the night and An was left standing alone once more, staring up at the rising moon and feeling a familiar ache of loss in her heart.

 

*****

 

Hot blood splattered across her cheek and An laughed wildly as the body twitched and gurgled beneath her blade. Her arm ached from the force of driving her knife through muscle, skin and bone and her heart was thumping in her chest, excitement and bloodlust and that deep vicious satisfaction that came from the death of the unworthy. The weather was getting warmer and she was almost overheating as she raised her knife and slammed it down again and again and _again,_ releasing the anger, pain and hate from within her into the woman.

“I certainly didn’t expect to see _you_ here again.”

An didn’t look up, still staring at the body, at the splashes of blood painting a gruesomely beautiful painting in the grimy little street. Of course she would be here, of course it would be her, who else would it be? She gave a slightly broken laugh, an edge of hysteria to it that even An herself could hear.

“I seem to recall you saying that you had other responsibilities now, you’re not leaving the child _alone_ to do this are you? Safely tucked away in his bed while his aunt comes out and kills her victims?”

She had no idea how Grell knew so much, she knew who Ciel was to her, knew where she lived, she’d known her name…the Reaper seemed to have access to information that she never should have, and for one wild moment An thought about asking her about it, asking her for the truth of what had happened to her sister and Vincent, find out the facts once and for all. But she remained silent, she’d lost the right to Grell’s favour when she’d chosen Ciel over her and she knew it. Almost silent footsteps, the rustle of fabric and those same high heeled red boots appeared in her line of vision, followed by the beautiful Reaper as she crouched in front of An, peering up into her face and completely ignoring the corpse between them. An’s breath hitched and she raised her eyes to look at Grell’s face properly. She didn’t look angry, or cold any more, and that minor relief was enough to set An off. She lowered her eyes again, squeezing them shut as the tears began spilling down her cheeks and her hands trembled, clenched around the knife. Grell made a soft surprised noise at the sight of her tears and reached forward, cupping An’s face in her black gloved hands and brushing away the tears with her thumb. 

That small piece of kindness, completely unlooked for, the overwhelming comfort that came just from somebody else touching you, somebody who wanted to help, An broke down into true sobs, dropping the knife and leaning forward until she could wrap her arms around Grell’s chest, clinging to her as though she was a child seeking comfort. Grell murmured something that An couldn’t hear, and hesitantly curled her arms around An as well, holding her in the first embrace that An had had in a long time, letting her cry her pain and fear and desolation out onto the Reaper. 

At long last the tears slowed and An pulled away, wiping inelegantly at her eyes with her hand, as though she were a young child again. A handkerchief was pressed into her hands and she managed a weak smile of thanks, glancing up to see Grell looking at her, seeming torn between worry, confusion and relief. It was the most human she’d ever seen the Reaper look and it brought the smallest smile to An’s face.

“I’m sorry…for-for everything.” She said, “You were right after all. I’m good for nothing better than killing now.”

“Madame Red?”

“Ciel…he…he doesn’t want me. I had such hopes, that we could be a family together, that I would finally have a family again. But he’s retreated to his manor house, it’s been rebuilt somehow, and, and-“ Her voice trembled. “He’s made it quite clear that he doesn’t want a parent, any family at all. He’s so _different,_ what happened to him?”

“So you are alone again…” There was sympathy in Grell’s voice and An nodded dumbly.

“I have nothing once again. I am unwanted, unneeded, good for nothing. My family is _gone,_ and the one remaining part of it is obsessed with revenge and has turned so cold and hard I barely recognise him anymore. He doesn’t want me. _I have nothing.”_ She was even more alone now than she had been before. At least when she had thought they were all gone, she’d known they had loved her. Now Ciel was back but he no longer seemed able to love, and An’s hopes and dreams had been even more cruelly dashed than the first time.

“You have me?” 

An’s head shot up, her heart in her throat as she stared over at the other woman. A persona of death, possibly insane, certainly murderous, mysterious and powerful and An had thrown her aside just as callously as Ciel had rejected her hopes of being a family with him. The rising hope was almost painful in its desperate eagerness, An’s need to not be set aside again, to be important to a single remaining person.

“Grell…”

“I was angry before,” The Reaper admitted, “But here we are once again, my blood red Madame, so perhaps we still have a chance to be who we really are?” She stood up, taking An’s hands in hers and pulling her to her feet. An stared up at her, practically hypnotised by the beautiful woman, the silvery moonlight, the lingering rush of her kill and the release of her tears and at that moment she knew she was bound to this Reaper for the rest of her life, that Grell had effortlessly won her heart, mind and soul and that An would dedicate her life to pleasing and staying with this single person.

“My red stained queen, how may I serve you?” And Grell knelt, like a knight of old swearing fealty to their lady.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out on my Tumblr if you want to chat more about these absurd, loevly characters! :)
> 
> https://red-butler.tumblr.com/


End file.
